Hanamaru Kindergarten Episode 1 Part 1 – Cute Or Hilarious? You Decide!

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This is the most epic show this season. Nothing can top it.

I’m doing this episode in two parts for three reasons. One, I have a bunch of other work that I’m taking a break from to do this that still needs to be done. Two, I’m really, really tired and only have the attention span to do half an episode. Three, this show is so amazing that it’d be impossible to try and contain the whole episode in one post. It works fine though, since Hanamaru Kindergarten essentially works by each episode kind of being like two mini-episodes combined into one.

The reason this show is so epic is mainly because this show is possible to be viewed in two ways (or even both at the same time). The show is either the cutest thing you’ll ever see, or is the most hilarious thing you’ll ever see. You’ll see what I mean soon enough.

The show starts off by showing a guy waking up. Exciting, right?

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Do ALL anime characters act like me in the morning?

He’s apparently late for his first day of a new job, so he quickly dashes down the strangely empty road on his bicycle to wherever he needs to be going.

He doesn’t get too far though, when he spots a small child all by herself on the sidewalk. Being the nice guy that he is, he decides to ask her if anything is wrong.

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Meet our main character, Anzu! Isn't she cute?

However, Anzu interprets this guy’s question in a completely unexpected and hilarious manner.

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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

And here, folks, is where the epic begins. Is this a cute childhood crush, or is it reverse pedophilia? You decide!

While the guy is completely at a loss for words at her interpretation of what’s going on, Anzu goes off into her own little fantasy thought process.

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You watch too much TV, Anzu.

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What kind of shows has this kindergartener been watching?!

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Anzu is too freaking adorable.

The guy finally snaps out of what’s going on, and asks Anzu where her parents are. She says her dad is at work, and her mother forgot something and went back to the house really quickly to grab it. Almost right after this, they see her mother running up the sidewalk towards them, when the guy remembers that he’s late to his job. He jumps on his bike and rides off quickly, but not without first telling Anzu to be careful of cars.

Anzu’s mother reaches her and asks her who she was waving goodbye to. Anzu excitedly tells her mother about how a guy came onto her, and her mother simply comments on how she must be popular like her mother. Then Anzu gives us an adorable moe face.

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HNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH CUTE OVERLOAD

There’s no OP song or video for the show yet, so the action quickly resumes! Anzu and her mother reach Anzu’s kindergarten school, Hanamaru Kindergarten! And boy, what a school it is.

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Why can't OUR kindergarten buildings be this awesome?!

Anzu explores around a little bit, and declares how awesome Kindergarten is.

Meanwhile, we find out that the guy from earlier (whose name is Tsuchida) is going to be the new teacher at the school. He’ll also be the first male teacher at Hanamaru Kindergarten.

After checking in, he goes to help out with the sign-in process with another teacher, and we meet the love interest.

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Anzu has some competition.

The teachers then start the opening ceremony, and instead of paying attention, Anzu decides to meet the two students next to her. These two will obviously become her best friends and also be main characters.

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Hiiragi! She goes by Hii-chan since Anzu can't pronounce her name.

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HNNNNNNNNNNNGH Koume emanates cuteness.

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:3

When it comes around to Tsuchida’s turn to introduce himself to the kids and parents, the parents mumble their concern about having a male kindergarten teacher around their kids, especially one that JUST earned his teaching degree. Tsuchida tries to tell them how much he loves kids, but the parents don’t seem to be convinced. However, it’s Anzu to the rescue!

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Anzu is gonna save your hide!...

And what’s her proof for this?

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...OR NOT LOL

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I think this beats both facepalm AND headdesk.

Tsuchida quickly attempts to gain back the favor of the parents doing the first thing that comes to mind.

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SURE YOU DO BRO

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Big cars? Big houses? Big cats?

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TOO LATE CAN'T TAKE IT BACK

Despite this strange turn of events, the parents decide that he’s somewhat awkward and nervous, but he isn’t a bad guy. Everyone allows the kindergarteners to mingle with each other for a while.

BUT DISASTER ALWAYS STRIKES WHEN IT’S LEAST EXPECTED.

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NO, KOUME! YOUR RIBBON!

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NOOOOOOOOOO!

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THAT JERK WIND MADE KOUME CRY! ;__;

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The fact that it was a gift makes it even more sad. ;__;

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;__;

A few other kindergarteners comment on how high the ribbon is and how they couldn’t possibly get to it. This makes Koume cry even more. I can’t stand to see Koume cry. ;__;

Just when all hope seems lost, Anzu decides to be a BOSS and takes it upon herself to embark on an adventure of EPIC PROPORTIONS to get the ribbon back!

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You're my hero, Anzu! ヽ( ゚д゚)ノ

Not long into her massive adventure full of danger and win, the adults notice what she’s doing. Tsuchida and Anzu’s mother beg her to come down from the tree before she gets seriously hurt.

However, being the BOSS that Anzu is, she doesn’t take crap from anyone and knows what she has to do!

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Anzu is such a savage!...

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...Until she looks down and sees how high up she is.

Anzu won’t even let gravity and physics tell her what to do though, because, again, Anzu is a f**king BOSS!

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If this isn't courage, I don't know what is.

Tsuchida’s love interest, Yamamoto, has a plan though.

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GIANT PILLOWS CAN SOLVE ANY PROBLEM!

Then Anzu goes for it!

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Almost there...

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VICTORY!

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Hell yeah you did!

Then all hell breaks loose.

Anzu slips.

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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STILL NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

But Tsuchida is on top of things and catches her! Nice reflexes there.

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Nice catch.

Anzu then returns Koume’s precious ribbon to her.

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MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

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Achievement Unlocked: Be a Boss - 9001G

Just when everything is happy again and we get a moe smile from both Anzu and Koume, we get a shocking discovery…

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HE KNOWS ANZU'S MOM

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TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2…

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